More scary shit!

President Obama said during a fundraiser last week in SanFrancisco. It’s been gaining some notice as a vision for America that is not historically recognizable.

Because in the United States of America, we are greater together than we are on our own  (Applause). We’re better off when we keep that basic American promise that if you work hard, you can do well — you can raise a family, you can own a home, send your kids to college, put a little away for retirement — and that that promise is open to everybody.  If you’re born into tough circumstances, we’re going to give you ladders to climb up into that middle class.  And if you’re in that middle class, then we’re going to make sure that you’ve got the tools to, even in a changing world, have some security and some stability in your life.

That’s what we’re fighting for.  That’s the choice in this election.

This is not how true America is…we have the freedom to fail or succeed.. earn it, not have it handed to individuals.

noBama 2012!

Getting Schooled

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama’s socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.The professor then said, “OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama’s plan”. All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A…. (substituting grades for dollars – something closer to home and more readily understood by all).

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy. When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F. As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed. It could not be any simpler than that.
Remember, there IS a test coming up. The 2012 elections.

These are possibly the 5 best sentences you’ll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

by: Ed Will

New Stamp

NOW THIS IS FUNNY – I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE.

The Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Obama on it.
The Postal Service noticed that the stamp was not sticking to envelopes.
This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.
After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special
Presidential commission presented the following findings:
1.The stamp is in perfect order.
2. There is nothing wrong with the glue.
3. People are spitting on the wrong side

A good one!

THANK YOU AMERICA !

Dear American Taxpayer

For only the second time in my adult life, I am not

ashamed of my country. I want to thank the hard

working American people for paying $242 thousand

dollars for my vacation in Spain .My daughter Sasha, several long-time family friends,

my personal staff and various guests had a wonderful time.Honestly, you just haven’t lived until you have stayed

in a $2,500.00 per night private 3-story villa at a 5-Star luxury hotel.Thank you also for the use of Air Force Two
and the 70 Secret Service personnel who tagged

along to be sure we were safe and cared for at all times.

By the way, if you happen to be visiting the Costa del Sol ,

I highly recommend the Buenaventura Plaza restaurant

in Marbella ; great lobster with rice and oysters!

I’m ashamed to admit the lobsters we ate in Martha’s Vineyard were not quite as tasty,
but what can you do if you’re not in Europe , you have to just grin and bear it?Air Force Two (which costs $11,351 per hour to operate
according to Government Accounting Office reports)

only used 47,500 gallons of jet fuel for this trip

and carbon emissions were a mere 1,031 tons of CO2.These are only rough estimates, but they are close.

That’s quite a carbon footprint as my good friend

Al Gore would say, so we must ask the American

citizens to drive smaller, more fuel efficient cars and

drive less too, so we can lessen our combined

carbon footprint.I know times are hard and millions of you are struggling

to put food on the table and trying to make ends meet.

So I do appreciate your sacrifices and do hope you

find work soon.I was really exhausted after Barack took our family

on a luxury vacation in Maine a few weeks ago.

I just had to get away for a few days.Cordially,
Michelle (Moochelle) Obama

P.S. Thank you as well for the $2 BILLION dollar trip

to India from which we just returned! P.SS. Thank you, too, for that vacation trip to

Martha’s Vineyard; it was fabulous.And thanks for that second smaller jet that took our

dog Bo to Martha’s Vineyard so we and the children

could have him with us while we were away from the

White House for eleven days. After all, we couldn’t

take him on Air Force One because he might pee

on some wires or something.P.SSS. Oh, I almost forgot to say thanks also for

our two-week trip to Hawaii at Christmas. That 7,000

square foot house was great!

P.SSSs don’t forget my ski trip to Vail this winter

and now the girls and I are in Africa with my mom.

All this while Barack golf’s and campaigns to

keep my trips coming for the next 4 years !

Love ya!Remember, we all have to share the pain of these

economic times equally!

Love to -redistribute- share- the wealth.

Early release of NoBama’s SUA transcript

Transcript of President Obama’s State of Union Address

“Thank you, thank you please be seated. You are all starting to look like the liberal media with all this idolatry. Ok, I am going to keep this short tonight. Tee off is 6:30am in Pebble Beach and I need enough time to get to the west coast. (turn head and ask “Does Nancy still have the jet? That would help a lot”). Before we start I would like to thank Senate majority leader Harry Reid for helping me to stall a lot of legislation in the Senate. Thank you to Vice President Biden for his gaffes which allows Fox News to focus on him for a while. And a special “thank you” to Speaker Boehner for single handedly solving the worlds’ water problems with all those tears (wait for laughter to die down).

Since I have been elected President in 2008 I have been hard at work for you, the American people. In fact, sleep is at a premium these days because I have been working tirelessly pandering to union bosses to make sure my campaign donations don’t dry up. In three short years as your Commander in Chief we have accomplished many things for the citizens of this once great nation and most particularly for the middle class.

Our debt and deficits are at dangerous levels…they are too low. How can we possibly look to restrain the size of government intervention in your lives if we continue to have people demanding for government to live within its means. That’s why we haven’t passed a budget in 1,000 days….to give overpaid bureaucrats the much needed freedom to continue spending on their favorite pet projects like teaching shrimp to run on a treadmill or counting the number of male prostitutes in Vietnam or putting poems in zoos. These are the things that put Americans back to work. These are the spending projects that the middle class is demanding.

We have killed the Keystone XL Pipeline which would have brought oil from Canada to our refineries in Texas and Louisiana. We did this for two major reasons: one, strategically we wanted China to get this oil so they can continue to import cheap products to the U.S. so the Chinese will have the money to loan us, and, two, as your President I want oil prices to stay high so traveling for you would be too expensive. Middle class families would then be forced to stay home and cook dinner and watch T.V. This is all part of Michelle’s “Keeping The Family Together Energy Dependence Plan”. It will work. Just give it some time and it will show the same fruits as our stimulus plan. Who do the Canadian’s think they are anyway? It’s not like they are a staunch ally of ours like my good friend Hugo Chavez in Venezuela.

And finally we will continue to focus on education. Tonight I am rolling out my new “Occupy The Classroom” initiative. This will allow students to go to college under a special grant that never has to be re-paid as long as you tell us in good faith that you are trying to find work after you obtain your degree. If you cannot find work within 10 years, the federal government will erase the debt.

When I took office I said this would be the most transparent administration in history and I have kept that promise. During my campaign I told everyone that would listen what I would do when President. Did you really expect for me to govern from the center? So, in closing, I will say this…and let me be clear…class warfare benefits everyone…redistribution of wealth benefits everyone…reckless government spending benefits everyone. Let’s continue to prey on the uninformed and together, we will finish our transition to a bankrupt European nation.

God bless you and God bless the United Socialist States of America! (slowly back away and don’t trip over teleprompter)

The New Medicare Program

You’re a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do?

Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians.

Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating, air conditioning and all the health care you need!

Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That’s great. Need a new hip, knees, kidney, lungs or heart? They’re all covered.

As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now.
And who will be paying for all of this? It’s the same government that just told you that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home.

Plus, and because you are a prisoner, you don’t have to pay any income taxes anymore.

Is this a great country or what?